the leaves are turning and i want, more than anything, my heart to turn with them

i need a fall wind to rush through and take all that is dying in me
i need a winter to bury me in white blankets and make me rest
i need a spring to uncover me with hope and grow new life in me.

there is a heaviness in my heart unwilling to subside. i struggle for breath and throw my lyimbs clumsily in an effort to move forward. my head is weary with dizziness and my eyes sting with the air of too many sleepless nights.

but they speak of him and my heart is overwhelmed with hope. i know now what the psalmist spoke of. the sound of his name is like fresh water to my parched mouth. it is the richest of fare to my aching belly. it is light to my eyes, strength to my bones.

you are my portion, forever

passing a pipe with my two favorite guys. crickets chirping in the dark. the low hum of cars passing in the distance. there is peace here and there is just the smallest sense of hope.