i have seen you

your love is better

- [a very fragmented] psalm 63

sometimes i think maybe-possibly David wrote and sang simply to remind himself

or in an attempt to convince his heart and soul

these days that is the greatest reason for letting words i have a difficult time believing trip-and-fall their way out of my mouth

it's my attempt at convincing myself that i can trust him

animam meam, neque obliviscetur

when i can't sleep

i sing

photo by s.scolaro

cooking is at once child's play and adult joy. and cooking done with care is an act of love.
-craig claiborne, kitchen primer

because i'm ridiculous

thank you, Joey, for your poetry and inspiration.

a good cup of tea
delightful music
a shopping cart full of stamps
this stopped feeling like work approximately 2 hours ago.

i beginning to think that maybe seeing love tossed aside, overlooked and ignored may be just what i needed. it's awakened in me a desire to love more deeply, to live more fully.

we lost ginger and apple sometime between dusk and dawn. part of me wished i could feel even just a bit sadder. the other part understood that it was 7:30 and my emotions were still waking up. i'm feeling it now.

my sister called just as i was getting to the office. that always makes me happy. i forgot to tell her about the chickens. i was just glad i decided to go in late today.

days like today i feel hope slipping.
hope that humanity can be redeemed
hope that we will learn to love the way we were created to

i don't believe that our redeemer will fail us
rather i fear we will refuse his redemption
and not because we don't want it but because
we are to often entangled in the things that bring immediate fulfillment
we sacrifice the future for the moment
we refuse to invest in relationships that don't bring us some sort of instant satisfaction

but i think of my sister
and the lady yesterday
and the people i share life with
and i find
hope is present

all changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy;
for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves;
we must die to one life before we can enter another.

- Anatole France


this is the melancholy
struggle and sigh
rushed and whispered prayers
"let this cup pass"
breathe and begin again

if only i could stay, but here i go again and again and again

i originally set out to write down my frustrations with people.
people in my life, people in the house down the street, people at the market, people who forget.
forget that they are loved, forget that they are wonderfully made, forget that they don't have to try so hard.
but in throwing mental punches at the people i am most currently frustrated with i began to see that i don't want to bloody and bruise their faces. i just want them to see.

so instead, i plead,
a. open you eyes.
see what is in front of you and stop wishing for something else.
what you do with what and who you have in front of you matters more than you can imagine.
b. don't close your heart.
it is capable of far more love than you've let yourself believe.
those in front of you are waiting to see your heart open up.
they're waiting to open theirs too.
c. stop trying to be hip/cool/whatever-the-phrase-of-the-moment-is.
you're pretty much awesome already and trying too hard makes you less like Jesus
and you're much more like him than you think when you're not trying so hard.

this life is meant to be lived in the bodies we've been given. not the empty shells and masks we create in a vain attempt to be accepted.

live abundantly, friends