the reasons why i

a. wouldn't want to work for anyone else: my boss pulled out these colorful sporks for lunch today as a gift for us. random. odd. i love it.


(photo via treehugger)
i got this slate blue one. again, love it!


b. love my sister and the boy i'll soon call brother: they send me silly pictures on a daily basis.
l o v e l o v e l o v e





c. already miss this one: he enjoys a good cuddle puddle just as much as, if not more than, i do :)

belonging

i found this old photograph while searching for my birth certificate. (they won't let me leave the country without proof that i really was born) thats my cute little grandmother on the right next to my pa. and the lady in red? my lovely mama. (funny i think i have that same sweater in blue & its not vintage)
i don't remember much about my grandmother. she passed when i was 3. my parents tell of how i decided i would follow suit after her funeral. laid myself in one of her old trunks and said good bye to them. they were, of course, horrified at the thought. but i loved her and was convinced that once that trunk lid closed i'd be with her again. she loved me. i've heard other stories, but even if all i had was the trunk story i'd know it. i'd know it fully.

i went to a wedding weekend before last & there was something said about rings being a sign of ownership. it made me happy.

you see, there's this ring i wear. it was hers. and in all the world there is no material thing that means more to me. (i know, i know - insert lecture about storing up treasure in heaven and not here. blah blah.) and here's why, my father was adopted. that never meant much to me, good or bad, until that wedding day. i think how my grandparents must have looked at him and decided life would be unbearable without him. they chose him. and by that, they chose me. they own me. (no. not like a slave. ha!) i belong.
so i'll wear it til it doesn't fit my old swollen hands ( & then i'll slip it on a chain and wear it 'round my neck) i'll wear it when it doesn't match. i'll wear it when i'm angry. i'll wear it when i feel like i haven't got a friend in the world. i'll wear it and know that she loved me and that i belong.

oh, and i'll wear through all the happy moments too (in case you wondered :)

-r

i've spent every other day this week in flip flops. today i pulled the boots out.
i'd like to shake my fist in disapproval at this weather.

strange how foreign the first snow felt under my feet. even after 24 winters. funny how this place feels the furthest thing from home. even after these 18 months. but few places have ever really felt like home. and even fewer have truly been.

you'd always been home for me but now you're becoming all the more uncomfortable.

do not

"do not use trampoline indoors" - s.scolaro

he said he felt heart-broken by life

& i knew exactly what he meant

i'm feeling very inspired. bet you'd love to know why.
"you" being my imaginary friends who take the time to read this.
i.e. no one.

i'm happy.
no, more than that.

nothing funny has happened.
except lisa & the eatons last night.
but you'd have to have been there to understand :)
happy making. my tuesday was happy making.
okay. thats all.

-r

i cannot find the heart i gave to you

if i'd had you on a pedestal you'd be at ground level
but i never did and now you seem so far beneath
i don't know what or how
i'm just tired of waiting for things to change
for you to change
maybe i expected too much

and maybe its just time to go

easing up

that's what life is doing for me.

(exhibit a)
i spent the greater part of my thursday with Oliver.
he made a new friend, the cute little Bristol.
and after an hour of play this is the mess we found ourselves in.



now if you're wondering where i let him play, let me bring to light the fact that wednesday was very snowy & wet. thus, thursday was sunny and muddy. everywhere. well not the concrete but what dog wants to play on that?!?

that said, i could not let him onto the carpet without a proper cleaning.
an hour later he was, though a bit unhappy, like new. we followed our plight with a long nap. yes. its ok, be jealous. spent some time on the piano. cleaned up. played tug-o-war with the now butt-less duck and then i said goodbye.


isn't he the most!

-r

oops

i found the boss' old polaroid.
i think i'm in love.
o-my-word!
l o v e l o v e l o v e

oh em

its been far to long, oven.
i've missed you.
i'm glad we had our little date last night...



i baked some lovely little cornbread muffins last night.
they are delightful. i had one, honey-soaked, with a cup of tea last night.



and again just now as a mid-workday snack.

makes my little heart happy.

om. zen. and all other serene feelings included.