contemplation turns
easily
to scrutiny
there are tiny moments late in the afternoon when i wish i'd loved more, given more, taken hold of more. and in those moments i determine to do just that. soon. after i lay on the sofa for a moment to catch my breath. adrenal exhaustion is no friend.
i've stopped trying (even wanting) to grow, stopped seeking, stopped spending time with my love. the last being my worst crime.
still, the world has not come to an end. everyone else keeps on moving. that's comforting.
so i'm breathing, scheming and preparing for whatever inciting incident comes next.
& for now,
Lord, let the work of these hands, be it preparing a pot of coffee or composing a new song, please you. be my strength, my motive, my provision.
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